Ubud, Bali. Sunday Feb 7, 2010. 5pm.

It's not very often that I feel like throwing up while exercising, but after 10kms of uphill cycling in stifling heat and humidity, zero breeze, I was very close.
Today was a big day. We decided to do a 'downhill' bike tour of the mountains around Ubud - Mum and Dad did it when they were here. The tour drove us to a lovely restaurant at Penelokan, near Gunung Batur, one of Bali's highest volcanos. We had breakfast overlooking Danau (Lake) Batur, Bali's biggest. The air was crisp and fresh and the clouds would excite 'Gavin Morris with the weather'. And breakfast, again, was amazing. Big fan of breakfast.
Before we got on our bikes they took us to a coffee plantation, where coffee beans are fed to a Syphill (?) cat, they digest it, poop it out, and voila, Lawak coffee. Good shit.
We finally got on our bikes after about two hours. The path certainly was downhil, but too slow for anormous fun. Had to ride the brakes the whole way, no fun! We got a tour through a traditional Balinese compound, where multiple families live, farm and take care of the grandparents. The one we saw was filthy - chickens shitting everywhere, kids pissing everywhere, smoke, dirt and cobwebs all through the 'kitchen'. Cows and pigs (sapi and bab, Ibu Fittler) are kept very close the the houses, tied up in tiny pens covered in shit. The pig didn't even look that happy to be in shit. But, the people seemed happy enough. The kids were all smiling and the granny was happy to let us walk through. Much of their lives are based around religious festivals, preparing for months to make lavish offerings to the Gods.
We cycled through many villages and rice fields, all the time kids yelling 'Hello' and asking for high-fives - we succumbed to their cuteness.
Phill and I then chose to do the optional 10km uphill cycle, while the rest of the ground continued downhill. The scenery was very similar, but with the road on an incline...One man we passed said I was very strong. Represent. I was outpacing the Chinaman for a while, until the last uphill slog of about 1km, on a busy road with trucks and cars and mopeds. I though if I didn't faint I'd surely be hit by a vehicle. But we made it, to the cycle tour's restaurant where we were fed (after I recovered) a delicious Balinese banquet. Properly knackered by this time.
YESTERDAY
We arrived in Ubud and were promptly invited into someone's homestay, for 100,000Rp a night, about $15. It was a genuine Balinese compound, with bungalows kitted out for tourists (ie: a flush toilet, fan, and toilet paper...)
We went to Ubud's famed Monkey Forest Sanctuary, and I never realised how much I hate monkeys. As soon as we entered, about 50 monkeys came screaching down from above, bullying (a mild word) one adult monkey. We were right in the middle of it, in shorts and singlets, Phill in thongs, scared for our lives (me at least...Phill 'kept his shit together'...and...'promptly escorted me to safety'). We later saw the poor monkey, he had had the shit properly beaten out of him, bloody and half dead. The forest itself was lovely; dense, lush rainforest, rivers and temples. Shame about the monkeys though.
Ubud is a lovely town, with some nice art shops and designer clothing stores as well as they typical market stalls selling Balinese souvenirs. We passed on them all. It would be an easy town to spend money in - restaurants, bars, shops and cultural shows - shadow puppets and gamelan! But again we are on a budget...we happily came upon a gamelan crew practicing though. (That's right - crew.)
We found out that 'homestay' really means 'be woken up by children screaming at 6am'.
PS...after dinner, Phill fell in a hole. The roads have uncovered drains on either side. It was dark. And we had just had ice cream.